Japanese Post-Punk & Other Things

This week I’ve been reflecting on how embarassing it is to write introductions to basically anything, but especially bl*g p*sts. Any situation that I find myself trying to craft a delicate balance of self-awareness, wit and interest is just humiliating. See reference. Nevertheless, I persist. 

It’s been many months (okay maybe almost a year) since I’ve written anything I’ve liked, and that is setting a new bad record, even for myself. I am currently working four jobs (I’m not happy about it, don’t ask) and freelancing for a music magazine, and also am happily in love and things like that. So needless to say, time to sit down and write for myself is quite limited. I’ve also spent tons of time dancing with friends, seeing cool live bands, meeting funny people, eating dinner with my parents, roller skating, going to Japan, hating on the DJs at local bars and of course, failing to write blog posts in coffee shops. My life is humble and simple but also really full. Some may argue I have too much going on, and they could be correct! But I digress.

Despite being this busy, I still manage plenty of time for rumination and self-consciousness. It’s a talent, really. I’ve had a tugging feeling for awhile that I’m doing something wrong, or that I should be scared. Of what exactly, I’m not sure. Even writing this feels wrong, and I’ve tried several a couple of times. I think I feel sometimes like I’m watching myself through a looking glass, seeing my life go by in slow motion before my eyes. As it turns out, writing introductions is not the only time that I cringe at myself for how carefully I attempt to craft my presentation to the world, control other people’s perceptions of me and maintain an image of confidence and humor. Who knew? 

Even in my happiest moments, I sometimes feel myself flinching against the unyielding winds of worry and doubt about what I’m “supposed” to be doing. I ruminate about my facial expressions, my joke delivery, how loud I’m speaking, my career, my impressions on other people, my style, my dancing, my everything really. By now you’re probably thinking that this sounds like a diary entry I should’ve kept to myself. You might be right, but believe it or not, this post is about more than just my ruthless self-obsessions. It’s actually about Japanese post-punk. Who knew?!

As previously mentioned, I (somewhat) recently got back from a two-week Japanese jaunt with my lover and some of my best friends. Not to be dramatic, but Japan definitely changed my life for the better. The food, the art, the fashion, the affordability…I’m practically drooling as I type this. It was a sexy and gorgeous trip, but what was even sexier and more gorgeous was the music scene in Tokyo. Cheap underground venues, friendly people and incredible bands graced our trip. One band in particular has become my new obsession. At this point you’re probably wondering, why did you blab on about all your insecurities instead of just talking about the band? Yeah yeah yeah, we’ll get there. For now, let me put you onto ZARIGANI$. 

ZARIGANI$ are an effortlessly cool, gender-bending explosion of sound and color. When I first walked into an underground live house in Tokyo and heard them playing, my ears couldn’t quite decipher what was going on. “Are they out of time?” I whispered to my boyfriend, who just shrugged. It took less than five minutes for my brain to start putting together the pieces. They were out of time, and it was magical. Bassist Eri laid down some of the hottest licks I’d ever heard, while drummer Mizuki created explosive sounds on an irregular time signature. Eri’s vocals were piercing, and though I couldn’t understand a word she was saying, I was thrilled. High-octane, thrashy and a little bit silly, I was completely hooked.

If the Slits and the Contortions had a lovechild in Japan, it would have been that moment. Cacophanous, weird and wonderful, ZARIGANI$ literally blew my mind. I barely knew what had hit me by the time their set was over. Buzzing with energy, I talked with all my friends about how amazing that set was. I was already planning on how I could write about them and share their music with US audiences. Then, a funny feeling hit me. The Sadness slipped in, wrapping its claws around the crevices of my brain. Too bad you’re ugly. Too bad you can’t play music like that. Too bad you’re not skinny. Too bad your friends all probably secretly hate you. It nearly knocked me over. 

But then, almost as quickly as it had arrived, it left. I was buzzing again. What did my body type matter when I had just experienced music this incredible? What was the point of feeling insecure in a dark room, full of people who are passionate about the same things as me? Why should I be anxious when I’m going to share something that made me happy with other people? If anything, I felt even lighter after the moment passed. I realized something very important: I feel most beautiful when I’m experiencing the creations of others, or creating something for myself. For the entirety of the set, I wasn’t worried about dancing weirdly or being awkward or what other people were thinking of me. I was fully, truly basking in art. And it was euphoric!

Now, the happy ending to this story would be that I learned to let go of my insecurities, throw myself into my art and the art of others, and stop worrying when I was creating. Unfortunately, this isn’t entirely true. However, this moment was a start for me - a glimmer of light in a sea of seemingly unyielding waves of obsession and rumination. 

Experiencing, I realized, is an antidote to overthinking. This isn’t a Galaxy Brain level realization, I know, but something did start to shift for me. I have realized that my writing, no matter how difficult it may be sometimes, brings me a lot of clarity and solace - often when I need it most. I’m currently at a bit of a crossroads in life as I prepare to leave my friends, family, job and city behind to get my Master’s degree. I’m overwhelmed and overworked - yet, at the center of it all, I keep coming back to my art and the art of others. So basically, this post is a really long way of saying that I’m going to be trying to write more, pushing myself in my art, and consuming as much art as humanly possible. It’s also totally a push for you to listen to ZARIGANI$ on all streaming platforms. So with that, cheers to life, art, and music, and may more blog posts reach your inboxes very soon.